What do I look for in ladies?

My ramblings on turn-ons and turn-offs with ladies.  Some of it is humorous and some of it is serious.  For the most part, hair length, hair color, and eye color don't make a difference to me.  Height isn't a big issue either.  My apologies if you're offended by anything on here but I'd rather make it as honest as possible...

Good points


Turn offs